Embellished Truth & Polite Fiction

He picked her up at 8pm. She didn’t wait for him to come to the door this time. She heard that old pick up truck rumbling up the street and pulling to a stop in front of her house. She headed out the door and hopped into the passenger seat of the truck. She gave him a quick smile as she yanked her door shut behind her. He smiled back at her and she caught that look in his eye that she’d missed so much over the past year.. She knew tonight would prove to be an interesting night.

There was a double feature of Happy Gilmore and The Rock. It sounded like an odd combination, but both had decent reviews.

Billy and Mary didn’t talk much on the way to the theater. Mostly just small talk and Billy talking a little about potential colleges he may go to.. Mary had run into his mom at the school library where she was helping students look up information on colleges that specialized in what they were interested in majoring in.

They pulled into a spot at the drive-in as the last bit of daylight disappeared. Billy chose a spot without many cars around it near the back corner of the lot and tuned the radio to the correct station for their screen. He parked the truck backwards so that they could sit in the bed of the truck out in the warm June air – there was a gentle breeze picking up and he pulled a blanket out from under the front seat in the cab.

Billy pulled out a couple cans of Cherry Coke and a big bag of Reese’s Pieces.. it was Mary’s usual order when she and Billy had gone to movies. She was a bit surprised that he remembered and wondered if it was merely a coincidence.

Happy Gilmore was up first and Billy and Mary sat side by side against a pillow in the truck bed with their snacks. Billy finished his first and then put his arm around Mary’s shoulders. She was a bit surprised by it, but gladly snuggled closer to him. The breeze picked up a bit more and Mary shivered a little. Billy reached for the blanket and spread it out over them as they sunk down lower until they were nearly lying down with their heads against the pillow. It didn’t take long for his hands to find their way into her pants again.

Mary was a little shocked.. and had no idea how to react to this. She lay there in the dark, trying to figure this boy out.. this boy who’s hands were once again exploring her bare skin and pushing her clothing aside. Part of her wanted to just give in and let him have his way with her – she couldn’t get over the feelings she had for him, she couldn’t stop herself from loving him. But part of her also wanted to jump up and scream “What the hell do you think you’re doing!? Get your hands off me!” He had no right to do this after the way he’d been toying with her over the last year, and to say she was growing weary of it was an understatement.

As the opening credits of The Rock began to show on the screen, Billy’s hands stopped their exploration of her body, resting on her bare belly just above her still unbuttoned jeans. He was calm and quiet.. and, within a few minutes, fell asleep.

Mary lay there against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his breathing and heart beat. She wondered what would happen next.. Do they just go back to normal life? Is this somehow a new beginning to their relationship? Will he even call her after this?

As the movie ended, Mary gently shook Billy awake. He laughed a little and expressed surprise that he had fallen asleep.

“You ready to go?” he said.
“Yeah.. sure.” Mary answered.

The ride home was equally quiet. Mary had no idea what to say to Billy.. and he seemed to have nothing to say to her either. She didn’t know what she expected of him, but felt her heart sink a little as they pulled up to her house around 1am. She turned and smiled at him as she reached for the door handle.

“Well, don’t be a stranger..” she said, pulling the handle.
“What? no hug?” he asked. She laughed a little, feeling a twinge of foolishness at her thoughts of him just going back to ignoring her, He’s a nice boy.. why would he do that? She leaned over and hugged him.
“Thanks.” he said, with that goofy half smile on his face again.
“Sure” she said, smiling back.
“I’ll see you around, then..” Billy said, and she turned back to the door.
“Yeah… see you ’round.”

Mary walked to the front door, pulling out her key on the way.. For once, Billy actually waited until she stepped in the front door before pulling away from the curb. She went to her room and got ready for bed, realizing that during that whole night Billy had never even kissed her.. that felt very odd to her. She crawled into bed feeling confused but unexpectedly happy…

Billy never called.
Asshole.

Mary sat in the computer lab, trying to look busy while she waited for the bell to ring. There was only about 10min left of class. She had gotten out of her last class of the day a little early to come here and hear about the newspaper class that would be starting next year. Her public speaking teacher had stopped her after class the day before to see if she might be interested in it.. apparently her English teacher had passed her name on as someone who had journalism potential.

The head of the yearbook team, who was also the computer class teacher, addressed the students who had come in interested in becoming part of the newspaper team. She was not to be the one heading the newspaper, apparently there was a new teacher starting next year that would be taking that on.. but they wanted to make sure there was enough interest, that there would be enough students committed to it, so that they could decide whether it would be an actual class or just an after school project.

So Mary sat there at an empty computer, playing Solitaire after putting away the papers the teacher had passed out, waiting for the day to end.

Billy appeared in the doorway with Sam at his side.

Mary’s heart skipped a beat. It seemed as if all the air had whooshed right passed Billy and out the door.. leaving none for her to breathe and she feared she might suffocate in his presence. She had been trying so hard to act normal around him for the past year. They’d gone out a few times with groups of friends from band, but things had always remained strained and awkward between them.

Mary sunk further down in her chair, lowering her head and wishing she could melt into a puddle on the floor.. that way it would hurt less when he stepped on her. She prayed he wouldn’t see her sitting there.

He and Sam sat down in a couple seats toward the back of the room. She wondered what could have brought him in here, 10min from the end of the day only a few days from the end of the school year..

She looked forward to the summer. She had grown tired of trying to gain his attention, trying to nurture their friendship, tired of hoping for more only to be met with consistently less. She looked forward to giving up her end of it and being left alone for the next three months. Next year he would be a senior, and she would be a junior.. Only one more year until he’s out of my life.. she thought to herself.

She breathed a little sigh of relief as he settled into the seat a few rows back and sat very still, barely moving a muscle.. imagining herself dissipating into vapor and falling in little droplets to the floor.. perhaps a little pool on her chair.

She heard footsteps behind her.

Billy sat in the empty chair beside her and looked at her. That little smirk curling his lips into the old familiar half smile that she saw so often in the beginning of their relationship. She felt her heart break a little more. She’d grown to hate seeing him look at her like that on the rare occasions he did over the past year. She hated the butterflies that filled her stomach and the warmth that rose within her.. She knew what that smile meant. But she knew it would only last a moment. She knew he could never really feel the way about her that she did about him.

She thought back to a phone conversation that they’d had over Thanksgiving break..

“How come you never call?” she had asked him.
“I don’t know.. I just get… busy, I guess.”
“It makes me feel like you don’t really want to stay friends.. Do you?”
“Yeah. I do. Of course, I do. I like you. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Well.. I don’t know.. Sometimes you’re so.. nice. So attentive and seem so interested in me. Other times you’re just cold and distant and you just ignore me. I don’t know what to think.”
“Hm.”
“Why did you go out with me? Was it because my brother and his girlfriend pushed you into it? Or were you even attracted to me then?”
“I was attracted to you.. I mean, their encouragement didn’t hurt.. But yeah, I was attracted to you, I liked you.”
“What happened then? Did I just bore the heck out of you? Did I just turn out.. not how you expected?”
“Gosh.. I don’t know.. You sure didn’t bore me. You’re anything but boring..”
long pause
“Was it because I told you I’m not a virgin?”
“Um… I dunno… Yeah. I guess that was a big part of it..”

Mary had had a good long cry after that conversation. She had officially experienced both ends of the spectrum of relational consequences that her ‘sexual status’ could bring.. She had been judged. Judged and dumped by a Christian boy. But she had also gone out with Chris..

That day in Algebra class, she’d laid her head on her desk and cried into her sleeve.. regretting all that she had done, all that had happened. Wishing she could go back in time to the night her boyfriend had snuck into her window and make a different choice.. Chris put his hand on her shoulder and asked her what was wrong. She told him everything.. and a couple of days later, he had asked her out. It wasn’t long before he broke up with her, disappointed by the fact that she really wasn’t interested in hopping in bed with him next. He had gone on and on that she’d only had a ‘bad experience’ because ‘he didn’t know what he was doing’.. and he wanted to show her how great it could be. She felt so dirty. Dirty, and a little disgusted.. and trapped. She recalled how relieved she’d been that day at his house when they were lying on his bed and he was fumbling with her clothing – zippers and buttons and hooks… he heard the garage door open, signaling his parent’s arrival home.

“Shit..” he jumped up and re-buttoned his own pants as she put herself back together, breathing a sigh of relief.. she just didn’t know how to say ‘no’, apparently. Thank you, God.. she’d thought to herself.

That phone conversation with Billy had left her feeling unjustly judged. Who was he to consider her somehow less than, somehow not worthy of his affection based on that fact? It all fell into place at that time.. it all made sense. He was attracted to her.. very much so. But he didn’t want to be. Because he was also disgusted by her. She knew he was also a Christian, she had even gone to church with him.. and he with her, while they were dating. He knew how things worked with God. She had made her peace with God.. God had forgiven her, why couldn’t he? He couldn’t get past seeing her as ‘tainted goods’.

That smile. She wanted to close her eyes and wish herself away, but she couldn’t. She sat there beside him in the computer lab, waiting for him to speak.

“Hi.” he said.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing in here?”
“We had a meeting about starting a newspaper class next year.”
“Oh..” he said, nodding his head slowly but keeping his eyes on her. “I see.” He was sizing her up again, she could feel it. She was tired of it, but couldn’t help but hope for different results this time. “So.. uh.. got any big plans for summer?” he asked, leaning his elbow on the desk and tilting his head to the side as he looked at her.
“No. You?”
“Nope. You.. uh.. wanna hang out?”
“Sure. I guess.. You have something in mind?”
“Well, the drive-ins open next week.. I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie?” Gosh, that sounds an awful lot like a date.. are you sure you want to do that with me? she thought to her self.
“Sure.. yeah, that sounds fun.” she said, smiling shyly as she met his eyes.